Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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