We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
