dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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