I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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