My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
