So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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