You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
