im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
