Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
