"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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