i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Boobs speak an international language.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
