Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
