So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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