i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
