Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am available for nakedness
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
