I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
