Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
