Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
