you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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