mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
3 2 1 whiskey
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
