By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
