Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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