I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
