If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Quick, to the slutcave!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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