the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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