I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
