fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
