He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
