I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
