Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
