We won't sleep together?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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