Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
