he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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