She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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