You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize