Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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