I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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