apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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