Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
