I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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