Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
