I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
