I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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