I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
