He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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