Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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