'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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