Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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