We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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