I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
