Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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