dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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