Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
