how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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