Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
