I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
