My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
