Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Boobs speak an international language.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
