just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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