Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
